A recent revelation into Usain Bolt's diet has revealed that his extraordinary speed may be the result of food additives linked to anabolic steroids.
Usain Bolt, who recently became the most successful athlete in the world, has a weakness that he wouldn't ever like to admit. He has a fondness for the McDonald's 'Big Mac'. In fact, he is convinced that the flagship fast-food item is a lucky charm and he religiously has one before every race. But is it just luck or is there a more scientific explanation behind it?
Jorg Berhausen of the Swedish Culinary Research Facility in Stockholm told us that his department had been researching the additives of different meals served in fast food restaurants and that they had made some interesting observations. "After testing the products from various restaurants, we found that much of the meat that was processed contained a small, but not insignificant, amount of anabolic steroids." Although he explains that have not received conclusive results, "we are sure enough that we have found a link between the food you would receive from the drive-through and the potential to perform better in certain sports".
Anabolic steroids, banned from all recognised sporting authorities, are man-made drugs that can significantly enhance the human body physically due to their ability to increase the protein production within cells. Jorg speculated that the drugs were probably administered to the animals prior to killing to enhance the tenderness of the meat. "The traces are enough to suggest that they were digested by the animal, rather than used to enhance the flavour during the preparation."
As to why tests haven't shown traces of the drugs is still unclear however Jorg believes it could be due to the pre-digested nature of the drugs, "which can prove too weak to show up on tests that are designed to look for pure concentrations of the drugs". As the meat sits in the stomach, any drugs are absorbed into the system but are quickly burned off during the exercise. Jorg concluded "It's like eating a hash brownie which gets you high but leaves no evidence in the blood that you took it."
We reached out to Usain Bolt's representatives and the Worldwide Athletics Association for a comment on the subject but have so far received no reply.
Jorg is hoping to publish his research in the medical journal at some point later this year. Until then, this may your last chance to eat a McDonald's before taking part in that marathon.
Sunday, 18 August 2013
Saturday, 17 August 2013
LG Pospones Further 'Free Phone' Promotions
Following the incident last week where twenty people were injured trying to claim vouchers for 'free phones', smartphone maker LG has postponed all future commercial events, including a live piranha swim and a simulated desert combat tournament, citing 'lack of planning' and 'unsafe activities' as the main reason behind it.
The sponsored event for the new flagship product, the G2 smartphone, turned sour when visitors took to the main activity far too seriously. LG had organised for helium balloons to contain vouchers for a free phone but many of the participants turned up with BB guns and pointed sticks. As a result, all further promotional stunts had been cancelled.
An inside source claimed that LG, acting on the popular notion that people liked 'risky' forms of entertainment, had devised a set of challenging tasks to reward only their most loyal fans. One such event was to seal some phones at the bottom of a swimming pool infested with live piranhas, allowing for the customers to make a dive for a phone. Piranhas are known for their vicious feeding frenzies and pack like behaviour however the source claimed that "all measures where taken to ensure the fish were not hungry" and that "the piranhas were merely there to get pulses racing".
Another planned event was to equip customers with bean-bag-filled guns and put them in a desert storm-like situation where the winning team would each get a phone.
Asia is known for its wild variety in game show themes however this controversial stunt lacked the planning nor careful safety considerations that many TV shows vigorously enforced.
The LG G2 smartphone will be available for £550 and is expected to reach shelves in the next few months.
The sponsored event for the new flagship product, the G2 smartphone, turned sour when visitors took to the main activity far too seriously. LG had organised for helium balloons to contain vouchers for a free phone but many of the participants turned up with BB guns and pointed sticks. As a result, all further promotional stunts had been cancelled.
An inside source claimed that LG, acting on the popular notion that people liked 'risky' forms of entertainment, had devised a set of challenging tasks to reward only their most loyal fans. One such event was to seal some phones at the bottom of a swimming pool infested with live piranhas, allowing for the customers to make a dive for a phone. Piranhas are known for their vicious feeding frenzies and pack like behaviour however the source claimed that "all measures where taken to ensure the fish were not hungry" and that "the piranhas were merely there to get pulses racing".
Another planned event was to equip customers with bean-bag-filled guns and put them in a desert storm-like situation where the winning team would each get a phone.
Asia is known for its wild variety in game show themes however this controversial stunt lacked the planning nor careful safety considerations that many TV shows vigorously enforced.
The LG G2 smartphone will be available for £550 and is expected to reach shelves in the next few months.
Tuesday, 13 August 2013
Phone Discharge Leads to Attempted Castration
A seventeen year old boy had the end four inches of his penis severed today when his girlfriend, also seventeen and preforming an act of fellatio, suddenly clenched her jaw shut following a sudden electrical shock from her phone.
The couple, who cannot be named for legal reasons, were engaged in sexual foreplay at the girls house in Holdrege, Nebraska when her phone, which was in her pocket, suddenly released a large electrical current which threw the girls body into a state of tension and forced shut her mouth.
A medical team arrived on the scene after a 911 call was placed by the girls mother. The boy was found in a critical condition, unconscious from shock and blood loss, and had to be rushed to hospital where doctors immediately set about reattaching the severed member.
The girl, who was thrown into a state of paralytic shock, also received immediate care for minor burns along her leg as well as a damaged tongue. While she is in a stable condition, doctors fear that the shock may have weakened her heart and she remains under their observation for further tests.
The phone, whose make has not yet been released, was sitting in her pocket at the time and it is believed that the electrical surge was emitted from the battery much like a taser. While this is a first in such an incident, it is not uncommon for phone batteries, particularly lithium-ion ones, to suddenly explode.
Carlos De Luna, a spokesman for the hospital explained, "This is an extremely unusual case however I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't see it happen more in the near future. Promiscuity mixed with advancing technology has a tendency to collide in harmful ways. I would highly suggest that if a couple were to engage in any sexual act that they remove all electronic devices first in an effort to minimise future risk."
The couple, who cannot be named for legal reasons, were engaged in sexual foreplay at the girls house in Holdrege, Nebraska when her phone, which was in her pocket, suddenly released a large electrical current which threw the girls body into a state of tension and forced shut her mouth.
A medical team arrived on the scene after a 911 call was placed by the girls mother. The boy was found in a critical condition, unconscious from shock and blood loss, and had to be rushed to hospital where doctors immediately set about reattaching the severed member.
The girl, who was thrown into a state of paralytic shock, also received immediate care for minor burns along her leg as well as a damaged tongue. While she is in a stable condition, doctors fear that the shock may have weakened her heart and she remains under their observation for further tests.
The phone, whose make has not yet been released, was sitting in her pocket at the time and it is believed that the electrical surge was emitted from the battery much like a taser. While this is a first in such an incident, it is not uncommon for phone batteries, particularly lithium-ion ones, to suddenly explode.
Carlos De Luna, a spokesman for the hospital explained, "This is an extremely unusual case however I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't see it happen more in the near future. Promiscuity mixed with advancing technology has a tendency to collide in harmful ways. I would highly suggest that if a couple were to engage in any sexual act that they remove all electronic devices first in an effort to minimise future risk."
A New Source of News
One of the big problems with news today is that it's so exaggerated to induce fear, paranoia and favour political systems that you just might as well read stuff that was false to begin with.
Welcome to The Daily Munchausen, a news blog dedicated to interesting articles around the globe that are so interesting and so fascinating they just couldn't be true.
Welcome to The Daily Munchausen, a news blog dedicated to interesting articles around the globe that are so interesting and so fascinating they just couldn't be true.
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